I am always writing

Dear readers,

I know that I have not posted as regularly since July. I plan to post catch up reviews that have already gone up on fanboycomics.net over the next three weeks.

In July, I lost someone who I was close with and since then, life has felt…different. Ultimately, as anyone who knew her would say, I need to live my life to the fullest in her honor and in her memory. I need to take everything I’ve learned from her love of the absurd, to her love of baking, crafting, makeup, sewing, to her love of lil Wayne, and I have to embrace her loves in my own life, even more than before. In that way, I keep her with me, always.

And, I have done just that. My life has changed since July in small ways. I try even harder to be content and to push myself via my creative goals and activity goals. I think of her often. No matter what, there is a certain feeling inside of me that was never there before and that will never go away. It is simply the feeling of my friend, a friend I can no longer put my arms around. Today, she would have turned 25. As always, in her memory and for her spirit that lives on, I continue to live on and I continue to strive to be, simply, happy.

With the election coming up in five short days, my memory goes back to the VP debate of 2008. We watched the entire debate together with two other great friends in my old apartment in Cambridge MA. She made healthy flag cupcakes. We laughed, watched intently, and provided commentary the entire time. I thought of nothing but the future then and at that point, I simply thought these friends would always be with me.

I think I needed to acknowledge this change before I could post blogs regularly again.

As writers, we do not write to give answers. We write to ask questions. Even though time has passed I have not stopped writing, and I just sent out my novelette for another round of feedback. That story, for me, asks a lot of questions on the subject of identity. What makes us who we are? Who could we be if different opportunities or chances had been given to us?

Ultimately, time simply keeps moving forward and we must keep up with it. If we get a little stuck, family and friends are always there.

Lots of love to my readers today. And lots of love for Maggie. You continue to inspire me. Happy Birthday, my dear friend.

-Ellen

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